


I'd give the stars

by RachelDanna



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff, Arguments, Fluff, Happy Ending, Insecurities, Kenma is truly a saint, Kuroo is in his last year of college, M/M, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 04:23:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5991568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachelDanna/pseuds/RachelDanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo turns around, a hum on his lips as he addressed Tsukishima, light hearted and dazzling. Tsukishima had to turn to look away. </p><p>“I don’t understand.” He repeats, hearing Kuroo step closer to him. “There are so many people out there. People better than me. So why? Why did you choose me? I don’t shine as brightly as other people do. I’m not as great as other people are. I’m not as great as you.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'd give the stars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mad_eline](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_eline/gifts).



It feels like it happens more frequently now. The disagreements, the yelling, the hurtful words neither of them mean being thrown in in the midst of an argument, the tears, the frustrated exclamations that was bound to hurt one of them. 

Honestly. Kuroo couldn’t even remember what they were arguing about this time. It was hours ago that he stormed out of their shared apartment for the first time, angry and fed up with every problem that refused to be solved no matter how hard he tried. Refused to remember the face that had scrunched up in shock, blonde hair disheveled and fists clenched tightly at their side.

He refused to remember the unsettled tension in the air when he left.

So he did what he did best, play volleyball. Kuroo wouldn’t even acknowledge the painful burn from the friction of it whenever his hand met the ball serve after serve. He channeled all his frustrations into each hit, forcing his body to move even after his vision swarm dangerously.

The campus’ gymnasium was truly a blessing, and if Kuroo scared away a few freshmen from playing basketball, who cared? It wasn’t as if Kuroo knew them. It wasn’t as if he himself cared what they thought of him.

His phone kept buzzing over and over again by the bench. Kuroo ignored it. Eventually, the device gave in and the battery ran out. He hadn’t received any calls for a good two hours now.

Serving one last ball to only have it ricochet off the opposite wall, Kuroo collapsed to his knees, breathing heavy and head spinning. He shut his eyes tightly, fists clenching on the ground as he cursed himself for all the things that were going wrong.

 

“You’re going to hurt yourself, you know.”

 

Kenma was quiet as he picked up the abandoned volleyball by the door whilst Kuroo looked up. It was a wonder how he had heard him with how soft he had spoken. Kuroo laughed, dry and humourless as he picked himself off the ground, knees shaking and arms trembling. 

“Why are you here?” Kuroo asked, standing straight despite the protest in his legs. Kenma looked up through his hair, and shakes his head. “You know why I’m here.” He paused, seeming to hesitate before finding the courage to speak up again.

“Kuro, do you even know what time it is?” he chose to say instead. Meeting no answer, Kenma continued, “It’s almost sunset. You’ve been gone for the whole day. Tsukishima is worried.”

Kuroo had it in him to snort, loud enough for Kenma to cringe. “I find that hard to believe.”

Moving to sit at the benches, he lets out a shaky breath as his body finally got the rest that it needed. Kenma takes a brief glance at his best friend, and sighs. “Go home, Kuro.”

“What home?” Kuroo barks, eyes refusing to meet Kenma’s, his voice loud enough to echo throughout the gym. “If I step back into that place there’s going to be another screaming match and I don’t think I can take that right now, Kenma. I don’t.”

Kenma shakes his head, walking towards the black haired man to sit down beside him. “Don’t say that. I know you love him.”

Kuroo leans forward to bury his face in his hands, ignoring the sweat trickling down his forehead and neck. “But does _he_?”

“He does.” Kenma replies without a second to spare, quick enough to disbelief Kuroo. He turns his head to look at him, cat like eyes staring at him with an intensity that Kuroo didn’t catch; not with the way he was burying his face in his hands.

“He does.” Kenma repeats.

“I don’t even know what we’re doing anymore.” Kuroo finally admits, looking up to only stare in front of him, focusing on the polished volleyball court. “I don’t know what to do. I kinda wished we were still back in highschool. I feel like we were closer then, even with the distance.” He mumbles. He turns to look at Kenma, weariness in his features.

“I don’t know what to do.” He breathes, every ounce of his exhaustion tightly lacing his words together.

“Yes you do.” Kenma supplies, spinning the volleyball in his hands. Silence settles over them, the only sounds being heard was the soft _thump_ of the ball whenever Kenma tossed it in the air and caught it again.

Breaking the silence, Kenma catches the ball one last time and turns it over. “This ball is Tsukishima’s, isn’t it.” he states, not really asking a question. Kuroo glances to the ball, and sure enough, the small scribble of Tsukishima’s initials sat marked on the synthetic leather.

Kuroo lets a small sigh escape his lips. “I couldn’t just leave without something of his…” he trails off, knowing it didn’t make sense after the screaming competition they had. But Kenma eyes him knowingly, so maybe it did. “Honestly, he claims he hates volleyball but he goes ahead and writes his own initials on a ball. Typical Tsukki.” He comments fondly.

Kenma eyes Kuroo, and smiles quietly, (however quietly you can smile. Kenma seems to be able to do that), “You love him.” He states once more, his voice louder now to get his point across. Kuroo takes the ball into his hands, gripping it tightly as if the ball was Tsukishima himself, unaware of the small smile that catches on his lips.

“I do.”

“Tsukishima does too.”

Kuroo’s smile falters. Several seconds tick by before he says anything again, but when he does, it’s with a sigh. “I guess he does.”

“Then there’s your answer.” Kenma stands, PSP magically appearing in his hands. His eyes glued to the screen as he selects a game to play, turning to walk away.

Kuroo watches his best friend leave, an exasperated expression on his face. “That really isn’t an answer, Kenma!” He yells as Kenma’s back disappears behind the doors.

Kuroo glances back down at the ball in his hands, and shakes his head. “… I love him.”

_He does too._

It really was that simple.

But even so, Kuroo waited a few more hours doing absolutely nothing before making his way back to the apartment, dead phone in his pocket and volleyball clutched tightly to his chest.

He spent the whole 15-minute walk back home pondering what on earth he was supposed to say to his boyfriend after the tense argument they had. When he reached the front door and shifted to pull out his keys, he realized that he _didn’t have it._

Cursing his mental capabilities, he groaned and ran a hand through his hair. Tsukishima was someone who didn’t take safety for granted, leaving doors and windows locked even if he had to step out for five minutes. Kuroo tested the knob anyway. Imagine his surprise when the door swung open, revealing the clean hallways of his- _their,_ apartment.

“Tsukki….” Kuroo sighed, biting his lip. Stepping in quickly and removing his shoes, he shuts the door and locks it behind him before venturing further into the household.

Taking a glance at the clock hanging by the wall, Kuroo flinched at the time it showed. It was close to midnight. He had stayed out longer than he thought.

He finds Tsukishima in the living room, head resting on the armrest of the couch with his body tilted at an awkward angle, asleep. Kuroo glances at him, and then to the food that was laid out on the table, covered by a plastic wrap to keep any bugs from attacking it.

Dropping the ball by the foot of the couch, Kuroo kneels in front of the blonde, looking at him face to face. Tsukishima’s glasses sat perched on the bridge of his nose, slanted from the way his head was positioned. Reaching a hand out to run it through his blonde locks, he smiles. Even with how awkwardly he was positioned, Tsukishima still looked beautiful. Add to the fact that he had fallen asleep waiting for Kuroo to come home.

Maybe he really did love him.

“Tsukki, you’re going to catch a cold.” Kuroo shakes him awake gently. Tsukishima slowly blinks while he wakes up, a confused frown on his face before his eyes meet Kuroo’s. Kuroo could faintly hear the sound of Tsukishima’s breath hitching.

“Tetsu."

Kuroo smiles, watching Tsukishima adjust himself to sit up right, wincing a little at the popping sounds his back made. “You left the door unlocked, Kei.”

Tsukishima glances at Kuroo at the use of his first name, but looks away just as quickly. “You left your keys here.” He defends.

“You waited for me?”

“Of course I did.” Tsukishima snaps. Kuroo blinks at the tone, and a frown settles on his face. Realizing what he just did, Tsukishima flushes, hands gripping tightly together; a nervous habit he never seemed to grow out of.

“… I made dinner for you…” Tsukishima trails off.

Kuroo turns to look back at the food, mackerel and rice, along with a few vegetables and tofu. “I noticed.”

An awkward silence settles over them, nothing like the silence he and Kenma shared earlier on at the gym. Kuroo was starting to think that maybe this wouldn’t work after all. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, he felt a hand on his cheek, and turned up to look at Tsukishima.

“… I was worried.” Tsukishima begins, “You never stormed out like that before. I thought you wouldn’t come back.” He admits at last. 

With a start, Kuroo realized that Tsukishima had tears in his eyes; and was desperately trying to hold them back. "You didn’t pick up your phone either, and half way through it just went straight to voicemail. I thought you turned it off after seeing all those calls.”

Kuroo takes his phone out of his pocket, and shakes his head. “It died on me before I could check them.”

Tsukishima eyes him slowly, before taking his glasses off and wiping away the unshed tears. “What are we even doing, Tetsu.”

Kuroo looks at Tsukishima, and realizes that they really do love each other, if the food, the door, the volleyball and the tears meant anything. Kuroo says just that.

“We’re loving each other. That’s… just what we’ve been doing all along.”

Tsukishima slides down onto the ground to bury his face in Kuroo’s neck, taking in shaky breaths. He drops his glasses on the table, uncaring of whether he damaged it or not. “I missed you.” He breathes, with every ounce of his being.

Kuroo can feel himself choking up now too, and hides his face in the soft locks of Tsukishima’s hair. “I missed you too, moonshine.”

Tsukishima laughs a little bit at the nickname, not having heard it for a long while now. They both sniffle a little, holding onto each other like that for a long time. It wasn’t until they both stopped crying that they pulled away, but remained in each other’s space.

“You remember what I told you the first time you doubted yourself, Tsukki? Doubted us?” Kuroo asks, drawing circles on the back of Tsukishima’s hand.

Tsukishima fidgets, embarrassment showing.

“Don’t tell me you forgot now.” Kuroo teases, knowing Tsukshima couldn’t possibly forget what he said to him when they first started out, before all their arguments started.

Kuroo leans in to kiss Tsukishima’s lips, a small peck meant to encourage the blonde.

“Because of all the stars,” Tsukishima looks at Kuroo, eyes shining with newfound tears, “I chose the moon.” Tsukishima clasps their hands together as Kuroo opens his mouth to continue. “And for the moon, I’d give the stars.”

Tsukishima leans in to press his forehead against Kuroo’s as Kuroo smiles. “Let’s try this again, moonshine.” Tsukishima gives a hum of agreement.

That’s all that they really need.

 

 

 

_Tsukishima opens his eyes, playing with the ends of his fingers, clasping and unclasping his hands over and over again. He watches Kuroo walk ahead of him, the cool night air of Miyagi in January making him shiver._

_Stars presented themselves above their heads. Away from the city lights of Tokyo, they shone bright and beautiful. A sight Kuroo would never get tired of. Tsukishima observes as Kuroo’s face light up, a grin so wide he wondered if his cheeks hurt from it._

_“I don’t understand, Kuroo-san.” He says, stopping in his tracks, having had enough of the emotional turmoil he was going through._

_Kuroo turns around, a hum on his lips as he addressed Tsukishima, light hearted and dazzling. Tsukishima had to turn to look away._

_“I don’t understand.” He repeats, hearing Kuroo step closer to him. “There are so many people out there. People better than_ me. _So why? Why did you choose me? I don’t shine as brightly as other people do. I’m not as great as other people are. I’m not as great as_ you _.”_

_Kuroo blinks, clearly surprised by Tsukishima’s questions. But a fond smile soon settles itself on his face, and taking Tsukishima’s hands apart to clasp it together with his, he could feel how they were shaking._

_“Are you cold, Kei?” he hums. That was the very first time Kuroo had called him by his first name, and it brought tremors down Tsukishima’s spine._

_“Don’t change the topic, Kuroo-san.” He said instead, refusing to allow such a thing jostle him. Kuroo leans in closer, stealing Tsukishima’s breath away; however clichéd it may seem._

 

_“Because of all the stars, I chose the moon.”_

 

_Kuroo smiles, leaning in to press their foreheads together. He takes in Tsukishima’s surprised expression, and continues with all the sincerity in the world._

 

_“And for the moon, I’d give the stars.”_

_Tsukishima stares at Kuroo, a disbelieving look on his face. He relaxes considerably, grumbling good-naturedly under his breath. “Sap…” he muttered._

 

_“You love it”_

I love you.

_“The hell I do.”_

I love you too.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> "Of all the stars, I chose the moon. And for the moon, I'd give the stars."  
> I thought of this on my own, you're welcome to use it, but don't just you know, steal it. This line means alot to me, even if I did think it up myself. 
> 
> I hope Tsukki wasn't too out of character, but I enjoyed writing this piece, so thank you for reading!


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